No one remembers third

It is with much gnashing of teeth and stamping of my tiny feet that I bring you news of yet another gameweek ending with A bit of skirt in third place.

It’s just not fair.   Football is officially a stupid game, with stupid rules and stupid players who get injured the moment they move their perfectly formed legs in any position other than running forward.

When Tevez failed to start against Chelsea on the weekend and David Luiz scored I felt very sad.  It was another nail in the coffin, with my opposition yet again displaying the miraculous accuracy of his crystal ball and enormous amounts of good fortune. 

There was one other person who knew what I was feeling that day, who also had sad eyes and a heavy heart.  And that person was Fernando Torres. 

Poor baby.  I felt a quite unnatural maternal instinct for him on Sunday.  When he looked back at the subs board and saw his number up, he honestly looked like he was about to burst into tears.  My heart did a little wobble and if I’d have been able to take him into my arms and comfort him (and no, not like that) I would of.  No one deserves to spend their 27^th birthday like that (short pause as I try - and fail - to remember how I spent my 27^th birthday.)

Seriously though, it must be one of the worst feelings in the world, to have all that talent and be paid all that money and not be able to put a silly little ball in a big wide net.  

Still, there are signs of better times ahead.  For example, I’ve noticed that he’s growing his hair long again which is obviously where it all went wrong in the first place.  I’m wondering if I should take a chance and put him in my team. Maybe he just needs someone to believe in him.  Maybe we could save each other’s seasons.   I feel a song coming on and predictably, it’s ABBA.  I wonder if Sky Sports have made the montage yet?   His best bits in blue, to be played in slow mo and in slightly frosted, to be splashed across our screens when he finally scores and miraculously saves Chelsea (from something). 

There was something in the air that night...

 The stars were bright...

Fernando...